What I Dream of Being

I took a long, hard look at myself recently. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was pretty shocking. I realized that I barely recognize myself anymore. In some ways, it's great - I'm braver now, more willing to take chances, and sure of where I want to go. But in some ways, it's really scary. I'm overweight. I'm unhealthy. I'm out of shape. I don't remember the last time I had an unhurried talk with God - just talking with Him, with no agenda but being with my Father. I've finally "found myself" now, in my 30's, and to be brutally honest, right now I don't like the person I am. I'm not who I want to be.

What do you do when there's a big discrepancy between where you are and where you dream of being? In my dreams, I see what I want to be: I'm a writer, with books already published and more on the way; I'm a runner, competing in half-marathons; I'm healthy and at my ideal weight; I'm focused on God, with regular times of prayer and deep Bible study; my life and home are organized and peaceful.

But my reality looks nothing like that. I'm a writer with a couple of blogs, one big work in progress and a few website publications; I'm not sure I could run to the end of our street right now; I'm 25 pounds over what I consider my ideal weight; my quiet time is hit and miss; my life, my schedule, and my home are pretty much total chaos while I just try to keep my head above water. My reality looks nothing like my dreams. But the truth is, my reality won't look like my dreams without a whole lot of good old fashioned hard work. That's why those are dreams - they're big goals to work toward. They wouldn't be dreams if everyone did them.  I love this quote from Colin Powell:

 

It's not enough to dream about what I want to be - I have to put feet to those dreams.  I have to make plans, then work those plans, to make my dreams a reality.  I've already taken some of the steps, like joining a critique group to improve my writing and connecting with great authors and websites to learn more.  Another big step starts today, as I start a health and fitness challenge, making small changes each week and letting them build on each other.  This week's challenge - cut out sugar.  It's not going to be easy for a sugar addict like me.  I'm switching to a healthier "paleo" coffee creamer and giving up my beloved Diet Dr. Peppers.  But I'm going to keep my goals, my big picutre, in focus.  Every small step, every change, brings me one step closer to making my dreams my reality.