How To Be Brave

 

I'm close friends with fear - well, maybe "frienemies" is a better description. It's been a unwelcome part of my life for as long as I can remember. Worried, anxious fear. Mind-numbing, can't-breathe, panic attack fear. I know its many faces well.

When I was in junior high, I fell in love with the American West. The time period fascinated me, in part because these pioneers and early settlers knew a thing or two about fear. Families left everything behind for a chance to stake their claim on untamed land and start a new life. They faced droughts, storms, sickness, accidents, attacks, and more. For years, I read everything I could about this time period. During this time, I first read a quote from John Wayne:

 

I've used variations of this quote so many times with my kids, stressing to them that sometimes, you just have to face your fears. They aren't empty words. I've lived a lot of what I tell them. I fought a massive, decades long war against fear. While I overcame a lot, it's still a daily battle. Going back to college in 2010 brought up a whole new group of fears. Graduating silenced many of them - but not all. I still have big dreams beyond college, and big dreams bring bigger fears.

I'm trying really hard to be brave right now. Last week, I worked through the Blog Planning Boot Camp with Kat at How They Blog. Day One was exciting: writing down dreams of the legacy I want to leave behind. Day Two was scary: setting lifetime, five year, and ten year goals. By Day Three, I was in panic mode: breaking down my one year goals into small, doable steps and scheduling those steps on my calendar.

It's one thing to say I want to be a published, successful author and have a thriving blog. It's another thing to actually take steps toward that dream. The scariest part is the very simple act of admitting that I have the dream. (Click to Tweet) If no one knows my dream, and I never achieve it, it's no big deal. But if I admit it, if everyone knows my dream, and I never achieve it, then I feel like I've failed.

What if I tell everyone that I want to be a published author - but I never even get an article in a magazine? What if I share my dream of writing Christian fiction - but get only unfinished manuscripts or a stack of rejection letters to show for my work? What happens if I bare my soul to the world, letting them see the deepest desires of my heart - only to learn I'm not good enough to make it happen?

I've always been a dreamer - but now it's time to become a doer. It's time to push my fears aside and put my hopes into action. I'm shaking in my boots, but I'm saddling up anyway. I've dreamed it. I've planned it. Now it's time to dive in.

An Exciting New Launch!

I'm so excited!  Today marks the offical launch day for How They Blog, and I'm so happy to be part of the launch team.

I knew NOTHING when I started blogging several years ago.  I've learned a lot over the years, but there is so much more that I'm still clueless on!  How They Blog will give a sneak peak into the world of some of the best bloggers around.  They will share tips and tricks, favorite tools, and so much more to help me and you become better bloggers.

I've been stalking following Kat for several years at her blog Inspired to Action, where she shares great practical advice that every mom can use.  I've also been an accountability captain for several Hello Mornings challenges.  Kat launched Hello Mornings to provide encouragment and accountability as women strive to start their days by spending time with God.  The challenge has grown to thousands of participants, with groups across the world meeting via Twitter or Facebook.  I know she's going to do just as great with her new project as she does with her current ones.  Hop over to the new blog today and check it out!

A Huge Guest Post

I am so, so excited today!  Last month, one of my favorite blogs, The MOB Society, asked for guest posts for the month of September.  I wrote a post and sent it in, but honestly didn't expect it be chosen.  But guess what - it was!  I hope you'll check out!

Letting Go of Pefect

I had an epiphany this week – in Wal-Mart, of all places.  Wal-Mart usually inspires a lot of thoughts, most of which I can’t put on my blog because I’m a pastor’s wife.  But this time was different.

I went in to pick up a couple of things and look for another notebook.  I’ve been struggling to find the perfect notebook – small enough for my purse but big enough to really write and not just take notes, durable enough to get tossed around a lot, cute enough to look cutesy and artsy when I pull it pull out of my bag.  I was getting really frustrated because I just couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I started to walk away. 

Then it hit me, in the aisle between bottled water and office supplies.  ‘Why does it have to be perfect?  Just write.’  I waste so much time waiting for “perfect” – the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect notebook and everything else.  Why?  Blogging isn’t about being perfect.  It’s about being me.  It’s about finding my unique voice and letting it out.  It’s about sharing my crazy journey through life with all the ups and downs and battles.  It’s about hiding in the bathroom to write this in my notebook because if I leave, everyone will need something right now.  (Please tell me I’m not the only one who has to do this!)

I’ve been thinking and praying and agonizing over creating my “perfect” blog lately.  Now I’m letting go of perfect, and I’m embracing me.  My voice.  My quirky sense of humor. My scattered brain.  My occasional sarcasm.   My mess.  Real, imperfect me.

When Priorities Get Pushed Aside

Something dawned on me the other day.  I haven't been blogging lately.  I'm a month behind on my "read through the Bible in a year" plan.  I don't remember the last time I worked out.  These were all supposed to be priorities for me - what happened?

I was reading an article on blogging last week, and one point from it really hit home.  If you're going to blog (or do anything else for that matter) you have to make it a priority.  Duh, Amanda.  Sounds simple, but I needed that kick in the pants to bring me back around.  The reason I haven't blogged, read my Bible, or worked out lately isn't a matter of not having time, although things have been insane lately - it's a matter or priorities.  I haven't had my priorities in the right order.

Yes, college is insane right now, and I'm a basket case over it.  Yes, I've been sick.  Yes, I'm a new puppy mom who has been busy with our new baby.  Yes, life is crazy.  But somehow I can find time to catch up on my favorite TV show or play Angry Birds on my phone (I'm a little addicted obsessed hooked on that game...).  Yet I'm pushing some of the most important things in my life aside for these trivial things.

My priorities are being re-alinged this week.  You will see me blogging at least twice a week now.  I will work hard, reading extra until I am caught up on my Bible reading.  As soon as I get over this repiratory virus I'm fighting, I will drag my out-of-shape behind back to the gym and start working out again.  I will sit down every Sunday afternoon and plan my week - I will make things happen instead of letting things happen as they may.  I will make a fresh start and get things moving in the right direction again and fulfill my "one word" goal for this year - FINISH.

No News?

I listen almost entirely to Christian rock music now, but way back, many years ago (like 15+ years ago), I listened to country music a lot, and there was a song that I loved called "No News."  Part of the song goes like this (and no, my memory's not that good - I had to Google the lyrics):

She missed her bus, missed her plane, surely this can be explained,

Lost her car at the mall, got locked in a bathroom stall,

Playing guitar with the band, on the road with Pearl Jam...

Um, yeah...I can't use any of those excuses for my absence from my blog.  Mine is simply called dental hygiene school.  My life revolves around school right now.  I never knew there was so much to getting your teeth cleaned!  Next time you're at the dentist, hug your hygienist.  Seriously, they worked so hard to get where they are.  Tell them thank you.

On the bright side, there are only 6 weeks and 2 days of this semester left.  Not that I'm counting or anything.  Just 44 days until I have time to read, blog, work out, run, spend time with my family, cook, and generally have a life again.  I can't wait!

There are other things going on, too, that are keeping me busy.  There are some job situations (with me) that I can't get specific about, but I would appreciate your prayers.  I'm really needing some direction.  On the bright side, my home business is growing steadily.  I set up my first booth at a large event this weekend, and it went really well.  I'm praying that in time my income from that will become steady enough to let me reduce my work hours.  This opportunity has definitely been an answer to prayers for us.  (It's a great company that's still pretty small - if you're looking for your own home business with a great ground floor opportunity, I'd love to share more about Miche with you, or you can check out my website.)

Despite the stress and pressure I've been under lately, though, I'm excited.  There are some situations where I'm just not sure what's going to happen, but I'm doing my best to simply trust that God is going to work things out.  I'm trying to keep my focus on the new opportunities and new chances for growth that are coming my way.  I'll definitely be sharing more about them here - watch for details on the new adventures coming soon!



Another Wild Week

It's been another wild week, including lot of adventure like the lightning strike at our church this weekend, which knocked out our internet - and my blogging for a few days.  I missed "Multitudes on Mondays" this week, so you'll get a double dose of what I'm grateful this Monday. 

I've got so many ideas and plans for Grace in Our Moments.  I can't wait to share them all with you!  In case you haven't noticed on Twitter, I'm also changing my handle...at the end of this month, I'll make the permanent move from @amandablogs to @graceourmoments.  I'd love for you to make the switch and follow me at my new Twitter home.

I'm finishing out the week with another test (woo hoo for an 87 on my pathology test earlier this week!) and work on some major projects, but look for more from me this weekend.

A Quick Post (During a Long Week)

The first week of class is always crazy.  This one is a little crazier because clinicals began this week, too.  Seeing patients definitely adds a new layer of stress to things!  I thought I wasn't going to see patients because I had sterilization duty today, but guess who got to do an emergency xray?  (It was pretty cool!)  I'll see my first full-fledged, "real" patients Monday morning.

My blogging had to take a back seat this week as I deal with getting into my new routine, but watch for more this weekend, including my first post at Must Love God, coming up Saturday.  I'm excited!  And if you don't mind, say an extra prayer for me and my family this week - I'm missing Christmas break already!  Seriously, there's always an adjustment period for all us, and it's always tough.

A New Year and New Changes

Sometimes you need a change of scenery.  You need to shake things up.  You need a new direction.  I've reached that point.  For the past year, I've felt restless about my blogging.  I started changing.  God started pointing me in a new direction.  After years of blogging at Confessions of a Wannabe Supermom, its time for a new look, a new location, and a new purpose - here, at Grace in Our Moments.

I thought and prayed a lot about this move.  I agonized over whether or not this was the right time to move, over the name, over whether or not I was making the right decision.  I thought about moving to a blog I had tried to start previously and making it completely a faith-based blog.  In the end, I chose Grace in Our Moments based on a quote I read a while back: "God is in our moments."

The majority of this new blogging venture will be faith-based.  Much of my blogging will be an extension of my journaling and my quiet time.  However, I still want to share things about college, family, work, fitness, and other projects I'm working on.  The reason I chose my new blog name is because God is in all of our moments - my quiet time, my work day, my college classes, my workout routine - no matter what my moments hold, He is in them.  My blogging focus is shifting from primarily being a working mom blogger writing about juggling it all and finding balance, to sharing what God is teaching me and how I'm learning to let go and let Him balance it for me.  The more I've tried to do it all, the more I've found I can only do it all with His strength.

It's going to take me a few days to get things totally situated in my new home, so bear with me.  As of today, I'm going to begin posting here, even though things aren't all set up yet.  I hope you'll join me in my new journey!