Thursday, August 28, 2014

When God Says No


"Mom, can I have a Coke?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"A Dr. Pepper?"

"It's the same thing. No!"

I know I'm not the only one who has this conversation in some form on a daily basis. My kids don't like to hear the word "no." Many times, when I tell them no, they ask again. And again. And twenty more times. They're persistent, and they hate it when I say no.

A few months ago, I prayed for something I really needed. It was a really good thing. I didn't just want it, I truly needed it. I put it in God's hands, but honestly, I thought the answer would be yes. Turns out, I was wrong. God told me no.

Of course, I handled it in the most mature way possible - I spent the rest of the day moping, then went to sleep watching my favorite movie and dreaming about going to Paris. (It solved all Sabrina Fairchild's problems, so it should work for me, right?) Everyone around me knew, without question, that I was upset.

It wasn't fair. I wasn't being selfish. This was important to me. This was a need, not a want. So why did God say no?

The next morning, reality hit me. By moping and being upset, I was letting everyone know that I wanted MY way, not God's - that I thought MY plans were better. Ouch. I'm supposed to be more mature than that.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11: 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.' (NASB) God had a plan - and it didn't line up with mine. His plan was bigger and so much better than anything I could do on my own.

A few days later, God answered my prayer. It wasn't what I expected. It was a different answer, but the result was what I'd wanted all along. God worked things out perfectly. He has a way of doing that, even when I can't see what He's doing. Sometimes, when God says no, it's because He has something even better for us. 


Sunday, August 17, 2014

A Sneak Peak at Writing


I was excited to be tagged for this fun writer's blog hop! Here is a sneak peak at my writing...

1. What am I writing or working on?

I'm always working on several different projects. I normally write here on my blog at least once a week. It's been a little slow lately because of a huge children's ministry remodel I've been working on, but we finished Saturday, so I can get back to my regular posting schedule now. I'm also a contributor to the Christian mystery/suspense blog Sleuths and Suspects.

I've had two short stories published this year and I'm working on several more. I'm closest to finishing my first suspense short story - I'm doing edits and hoping to submit it to some magazines soon.

By far, though, my biggest project is my novel. Right now, I'm about 2/3 of the way done. I just entered my first contest with my novel this month. I also plan to enter ACFW First Impressions later this year, and my goal is to finish in time to enter the ACFW Genesis contest next year. I wish I could share more details, but I'm being vague about the plot because of the upcoming contests.

2. How does my work differ from others in its genre?

My novel is a mystery, and it's Christian fiction - but it's a little different. It's not romantic suspense. My main character is a Christian, and the story definitely comes from a Christian world view - but at the same time, I want someone doesn't read Christian fiction to be able to pick this novel and read it without feeling "preached to."

3. Why do I write about what I do?

My taste in books definitely leans to the darker side. I love gritty, realistic mysteries. My favorite genre is mystery, but I also love suspense, YA dystopian (The Hunger Games) and books that border on horror. (Sounds shocking, I know, but there are Christian books that fall into this category - think Frank Peretti's The Oath or Travis Thrasher's Isolation.)

People have questioned me on my reading choices more than once. Here's the reason behind it: We don't live in a perfect world. We live in a dark world, with a spiritual war raging all around us. Our faith doesn't make us immune to the horrible things that happen in life. I find myself drawn to stories where people face the worst in life - and somewhere, in the midst of the darkness, they cling to faith, and God carries them through. I like books that show us that even in the middle do the darkest night, God is there. He's clinging to us, and He's never letting go.

4. How does my writing process work?

My stories usually start with just a nugget of an idea. It might be a line, a scene, or just the question, "What if..." My most recent story, Salt Water, started with the idea of a woman standing on the beach, shivering in the cold water and wrestling with the past, and it went from there. My blog posts often come out of something I'm struggling with or learning about myself.

I use the Werdsmith app on my iPad for all my blog posts and a lot of my stories. I typically write my entire blog post on my iPad, then paste it directly into Blogger to edit, add photos, and finalize the design. I'll usually start my stories on the app, then email them to myself and move them into a Word document.

My book actually started with the main character and went from there. The first idea I dreamed up won't be in the first book - I'm saving it for later. Over several years, I built my ideas of my character, her life, her family, and her surroundings. It took a long time to work up the courage to actually start writing the story.

I don't have a set writing schedule, but I do a lot of my writing on my lunch breaks or on weekends. I stay busy with my family, my job, and our church, so I squeeze in time whenever I can.

Now to tag a few friends:

Jenni Saake blogs at Infertility Mom. We met through an (in)Courage group a few months ago. She is so inspiring!

Karan Gleddie and I met through our Hello Mornings Twitter group. Karan is always an encourager! You can find out more about her at her blog, Karan K. Gleddie.

Anita Strawn de Ojeda is part of a wonderful writer's group that I became a part of about two years ago. Five of us founded the group, which has now grown to thirteen members. We call ourselves The Writer's Bra, because our goal is to support each other as writers. You can learn more about Anita at Blessed But Stressed. 

Last but certainly not least is my critique partner, Kelly Liberto. Kelly was an answer to prayer when I got serious about finishing my novel. She encourages me, and she pushes me to do better. She's also talked me down a couple of times when I've been on the verge of a meltdown. Check out Kelly's writing and more at her website.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Everyday Joy

"I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, hormonal, and desperately in need of chocolate." I was on the verge of tears when I sent the text to a friend a few days ago. It was one of those weeks when everything just seemed to grate on my nerves. Already exhausted, I was headed to the church to paint and work on our children's ministry remodel. It was easy to focus on the negative - and that's exactly what I was doing, until I got to the church and found a great surprise: homemade cookies and cream cupcakes from a church member. That simple gesture was all I needed to find my joy again.


The world isn't always a joyful place these days. We're surrounded by the negative: in the news, on social media, in line at the grocery store. Even among Christians, there is less joy and more criticism, complaining, and negative attitudes. What people have apparently forgotten is that, as followers of Christ, we should be the most joyful people on earth. We can laugh and smile and rejoice, because we are free. We were rescued, redeemed by our Creator, and inscribed on the palms of His hands - why shouldn't we be happy?

Joy is all around us. It's found in the simple, everyday things...
  • The way the sunlight shines through the leaves and Spanish moss in the oak trees in the morning
  • The rainbow hues of a sunset as I run
  • Cranes standing on one leg in marsh water
  • Fog shrouding plank fences and farmhouses as the sunrise spreads light across the sky
  • My boys' laughter
  • My husband's sleepy, whispered "I love you" as I leave for work in the morning
  • A friend's encouraging comments
My kids make fun of me because I pull out my iPhone camera for seemingly unimportant things: birds, flowers, raindrops, spiderwebs. But when I see these little details, I see God. I see His creativity and His love for beauty. I see His gifts, and they surround me.

A few years ago, I started keeping a gratitude list in my journal - a "one thousand gifts" list, inspired by Ann Voskamp. Gratitude is a funny thing, because when you start noticing God's gifts and thanking Him, you find yourself actively looking for more. You search out things to be thankful for.

Gratitude leads to more gratitude.

It leads to a heart that finds everyday joy in the simple things.

My challenge to you: Start a gratitude journal. Grab a notebook and a pen. Pick up your camera. Then start a list. Add in photos later. Look around you and find things to be thankful to have in your life. Big or small. Need help getting started? Download Ann's beautiful Joy Dare prompts for every day of the year. Count your gifts every day, before you start the rush of your daily life. You may be surprised at the everyday joy you find.

Monday, July 7, 2014

It's Not About Me: When Faith and Fitness Collide



One week. That's all it took to change my perspective and find the motivation I needed.

I knew things had to change. For months, I'd grown more and more exhausted, despite less stress and a more relaxed pace to my life. Aches and pains became normal. I was unhappy with my body. So when I saw a Facebook post in April about a local running group starting a Couch Potato to 5K plan, I signed up - and I drug my kids along with me.

With the exception of our youngest son, we are not a family of natural athletes. To be honest, I stink at sports. My youngest didn't inherit that from me, so I wasn't surprised when he took off running that first night, outpacing us all. I ran with the group, while my oldest stuck with the walking group. Neither child was excited about being forced into a workout group.

The second night, another runner talked my oldest into joining us. My son reluctantly agreed, but made it clear that he didn't think he could finish. We forged ahead with our run 60 seconds/walk 90 seconds plan. And he finished. He did the whole thing, right beside me.

Everything changed that night.

During the next several weeks, I watched my son go from saying "I can't do this" to saying "I'm going to run a 5K." I saw the determination on his face every time we went to the track. One night he even quoted Jillian Michaels when his younger brother wanted to quit: "Unless you're puking, fainting, or dying, you don't quit."

My youngest did eventually drop the plan - and I agreed, because he's young and I don't want to push him too much - but my oldest kept running. He dug deep and found a place in himself that he never knew existed. Every "first" has been amazing: quarter mile, mile, two miles, and a few weeks ago, our first 5K.


Seeing my oldest son running inspires me. He is learning lessons that will follow him into adulthood - perseverance, discipline, the value of a healthy lifestyle.

We push each other. 
Sometimes I really want to quit - but I don't, because he's watching. I'm faster, so sometimes I slow down and run with my son so he doesn't get discouraged. Other times I run ahead and call back to him, pushing him to dig a little deeper and move faster. Knowing that he is watching makes me run faster, better, and more often, because I want him to follow my example. 

Kind of like my life...

I can't quit, because they're watching. My sons are looking to me for an example, for encouragement, for a blueprint on how to navigate life and a walk with God. They need to see my faith lived out. It's terrifying, because I know all too well how weak I am. But I have to get pushing ahead, not just for myself - but for them.

As for running - now that our first 5K is behind us, we're planning for more. I'm looking at a possible race in August, we're planning to run a few together this fall, and I'm eyeing my first ever 10K in November. We run together a few times a week, and my youngest son is joining us again. He will be racing with us this fall, if all goes according to plan. 

It's become a family activity - sometimes fun, sometimes filled with complaints, but it's something we do whether we feel like it or not - because it's not about us. It's about the fact that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, bought with a price. It's about honoring God with our bodies. It's because through every run, the good and the bad, we're learning and setting an example. That's my motivation.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

When You Need to Shut Out the Noise



Our world screams for attention. In the age of Internet on cell phones, Facebook and Instagram, viral videos and more, we're surrounded by voices. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone tries to scream loud enough to be heard. It's overwhelming. Trying to listen to everything makes my head spin and leaves me feeling overwhelmed.

The sad fact is that most of what we hear isn't truth. We hear opinions. We hear twisted versions of what people call truth - but in reality it's their attempt to twist reality to meet their lifestyle. We hear a lot of outright lies. How do we focus on God when all this is happening?

Sometimes we need to shut it all out.

It's easy to forget what's really important in this noisy world. There is only one voice and one opinion that matters: God's. But how do we keep our focus on Him?

1. Start your day with God.

If I don't carve out time with God each morning, I can almost guarantee that my day will be rocky. I need time each morning to drink my coffee, read my Bible, pray, and focus my mind on the One in charge in my life. I write out what I'm thankful for, study the scripture I'm memorizing, do my Bible study (currently I'm using She Reads Truth studies), and pray. It usually takes 30 minutes or so. Do I have to get up earlier? Yes. Does it take some extra effort? Yes. But it's completely worth it because it helps keep my mind focused throughout the day.

2. Limit social media.

I'm not talking about leaving social media. I know people who have done this, and they felt it was the right thing to do. But I don't think that's the answer. There are great things on social media! I'm part of Bible study groups, accountably groups, and even a Scripture memorization group. We need to connect with others, and the online world offers a great way to do it. What I suggest instead: Limit what you see on social media.

Do you have friends who post inflammatory things on Facebook? Hide their posts from your news feed.
Are you part of a group that seems to lean toward the negative? Drop out. (I did this recently, leaving a "professional" group that acted anything but professional.)
Do you need to clean up your list of who you follow on Twitter or Instagram? Unfollow people whose posts drag you down.

Take charge of what you see. If you need to find more inspiration, follow Hello Mornings, She Reads Truth, A Holy Experience and Hide His Word, just to name a few.

3. Choose your words.

It's hard not to argue back when people shower a website or post with negativity. But in most cases, their mind is made up, and your rebuttal isn't going to change anything. In many cases, their entire goal is to start a fight. Don't give them the fuel, and don't get into an argument that will only raise your stress levels and keep you upset. I know it's hard to stay quiet, but leave your positive feedback, and let your words shine a light into the darkness.

4. Unplug

I'll admit, I'm preaching to myself here. I spend far too much time attached to my cell phone and iPad. It's a habit I'm working to break.

Sometimes we need to just unplug from the world. Every photo doesn't have to be Instagramed. You don't have to post every cute thing your child says to Facebook. Your latest email probably doesn't need your attention this very second. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just step away from the connectedness and just live our lives.

What are your greatest struggles when it comes to staying focused on God? What helps you shut out distractions?

Friday, June 20, 2014

An Exciting Month and a Short Blogging Break

June has been an amazing month. It's also been an amazingly busy month that hasn't left much time for blogging.

One week ago, my oldest son and I ran our first 5K. We trained for two months with a local running group, going through the the Couch Potato to 5K plan.bour goal was to run the whole race, and we did it! It was amazing! There is a break this summer with no local 5K's - because no one wants to run in Texas in the summer. But there are lots of races this fall, and we're already maping out our schedule. 


Today my second short story, Salt Water, went live. It's in the June issue of Splickety magazine - and the featured author in this issue is Jerry B. Jenkins, the co-author of the Left Behind series. I'm so excited! You can find digital copies of Splickety magazine here.

In the middle of all this, we've all been been sick (the one thing you don't want your family to share...), we had a huge kids outreach event, and we're in the middle of a major remodel at our church. "Chaos" is the only word that can describe this month! 

Because of our crazy schedule, I'm taking the rest of June off from my blog and pushing back my newsletter debut a couple of weeks. I'll be back July 1 with new posts, more exciting news and surprises. See you in a couple of weeks!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

When You're Running On Empty



Drained. Exhausted. Unfocused. Restless. Do those feelings sound familiar? My guess is you've been there. I have too. In fact, if I'm totally honest, I'm there right now.

Lots of things can bring it on, but many times it's just the overwhelming demands of everyday life. For me, it's the complete remodel of our children's ministry wing at our church. I'm so excited about this project - it's been in the works for a couple of years, and the results are going to be amazing! But it's also a massive undertaking, especially since we're doing a big part of the work ourselves. Add to this planning two major summer events and training for a 5K, and you have the perfect recipe for a mom sucking down massive amounts of coffee and staring off into space, completely overwhelmed.

We all have times when we're overwhelmed. Dishes are piled in the sink, a baby won't stop crying, kids fight endlessly, jobs change. Before you realize it, you're barely keeping your head above water. You find yourself exhausted, worn, weary to the bone, and barely hanging on.

What can you do when you feel your peace slipping away? You can sneak away for a few minutes and completely lose yourself in The Hunger Games trilogy (ahem...not at I would know anything about that) - but a few minutes of fun reading won't fill you up. You can - and should - work out and get plenty of sleep. You'll be stronger, but it won't take away that 'edge of panic' feeling you get when life is closing in.

This weekend, I got the reminder I needed from my morning time with God. My favorite devotional, Jesus Calling, opened with the words, "Time with Me cannot be rushed."

Guilty. Right before I tapped open my devotional in my Kindle app, I was running through my to-do list for the day. My mind was already jumping ahead to other things. I hadn't even started my time with God yet, and I was already rushing it.

My time with God is the one thing I can turn to when I'm running on empty. It's the one thing that will truly fill me up. Job 22:21 (NASB) says, "Yield now and be at peace with Him; Thereby good will come to you." The NIV says, "Submit to God and be at peace with Him..." I have to give my crazy, hectic, 'guy at the circus spinning plates' life to God. I can't give it to Him if I don't spend unhurried, unrushed time with Him.

This week, I'm refocusing by spending more time with God. I'm starting a new Bible study with She Reads Truth and a new Hide His Word memorization plan. What are you doing right now to focus on time with God?