The Lessons I Didn't Want To Learn

It's been a tough month for me...a tough two weeks especially.  God has been teaching me lessons that I didn't really want to learn.  He's been teaching me to fail.

I've spent the past 2 1/2 years in school - first taking prerequisites for the dental hygiene program, then working through the program.  Now, with a nightmare semester coming to an end, I'm not sure I'll move on the final semester.  I've dealt with numerous patient cancellations and patients arriving late for appointments.  I failed a skill test and had to retake it.  I've struggled to find the patients I need to meet requirements.  Now it all comes down to today and whether or not I can finish.  It's possible...but it's going to be hard.  It's scary that it's really completely out of my control.

I have no idea where I'll be at the end of the day today.  I have no idea what's next for me.  It's terrifying.  Before dental hygiene school, I held a life-long 4.0 GPA.  It was down to a 3.5 before this semester started, and it will drop lower than that once grades are posted.  Over the past year and a half, I've failed both written tests and skill tests.  It's hard.  It's humbling.  It's something I did not want to learn.  But apparently, God thinks it's important for me.

A couple of weeks ago, after I failed that skill test, I was praying, crying, and begging God for a reason.  "What are You trying to teach me?" I asked.  He didn't give me the kind of answer I was expecting...I'm learning that He seldom does...instead, He answered with His own question:

"Do you trust Me?"

 

Maybe that's the answer...maybe this is all so I will learn to lean totally on Him, doing nothing in my own strength or ability. Maybe I'll never really know why. Either way, all I can do right now is cling to Him and His grace.  It's all I can hang onto right now as I wait to see what the future holds.




Thankful for Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We did.  I enjoyed a much-needed break from school, got some Black Friday shopping done, and got caught up a little bit at home.  I had to share pictures from our puppy's first Thanksgiving ever...I'm loving my new iPhone and all the fun Instagram apps!

The High Calling

I was recently introduced to a great website, The High Calling.  This site is so practical!  I checked out their newsletter and I'm very impressed!  The articles apply to my everyday life, covering many aspects of Christian life, from work to family to culture.  There are lots of great resources that are perfect for working moms.  I think The High Calling fills a much-needed gap.  I hope you'll stop by and check out their main page and their newsletter.

Time to Re-focus

It’s so easy to let life get out of focus.  When you balance family, home, work, church, and more every day, important things can slip off our radar screen before we even notice they’re gone.  We can get so wrapped up in the good things that we let go of the best things.

I sat down this weekend and really took a hard look at where I am in regard to my goals and priorities.  Let’s just say I’m not where I want to be.  My extreme stress levels and bad habits are taking a toll on my body, from aches to trouble sleeping to anxiety attacks.  My scattered mind is struggling to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time.  I have a lot of good things going – family, teaching children’s church, school, writing, and more – but I realized that some of the best things – like my times with God and my workouts - are slipping away from me.

It’s time to re-prioritize some things.  For me, that means time with God and time to work out are essential to every single day.  I’ve been struggling lately with old issues that I thought I’d moved past.  As I wondered why, it dawned on me that my time with God has gotten shorter and shorter as the past few weeks have rolled by.  No wonder I’m struggling!  My fitness routine has totally gone by the wayside.  I’m six months away from graduating as a dental hygienist – a physically demanding job (and mentally exhausting while I’m in school!).  If I don’t make sure I am healthy and fit, I may not have a long career.

My goals for this week are simple: (1) Daily time with God (2) Exercise 3 days (3) Write most days - I'm shooting for every day, but I know that's not always going to happen.  I’m going to start simple and stay simple.  The biggest change will be that I want to eventually work out 5-6 days a week.  I'm pinning workouts and checking out YouTube - it won't happen without planning!

When God Sings To You

I'm excited to post today at Must Love God!  I'm sharing about the that times that God has sent just what I needed to hear, at just the right time.  I hope you'll jump over to MLG and take a look.