Sunday, November 3, 2013

Hello, I'm a Writer

Hello, my name is Amanda, and I'm a writer.

Photo credit: Tonya Salomons @ Stone To Heart
Artwork by Kathi Denfeld @ Lo-ly-gag
I still can't say those words aloud. It's too scary. The best I can do is type them. There's an expectation, a kind of reverence, attached to that single word, "writer," and I just can't say it along with my name yet.

I blog. I write fiction. I've submitted a query for an article to a major magazine, a short story to another magazine, and I've entered a huge fiction contest. (Now the waiting begins - it will be at least December before I hear back from any of them.) I've won a small writing contest. A few posts have been chosen as favorites in the weekly link ups I write for. My laptop and iPad are filling up with writing - blog posts, short stories, scenes and pieces of what will eventually (I hope) be a novel. So why can't I tell people "I'm a writer"?

 The biggest reason is fear. I know the next question will be "What have you written?" Nothing published, except my blog. I can't point to a book or story or article yet. I don't have concrete evidence that I am a writer. The fear lingers at the back of my mind - what if I never do?

What if I tell everyone "My name is Amanda, and I'm a writer," but nothing happens? What if there are no articles, no published stories, no books? Then what?

I think I'm still waiting for that magical moment when I'll really feel like a writer, when this whole dream I've had since nine years old will come true. I'm not sure if it will happen with the first article, or the first paycheck, or when I sign a book contract. 

I'm not sure when it will come, but I can't wait for the day I can fearlessly say, "I'm a writer." Because deep down, that's who I am. I'll write whether there's a contract or not. I'll write even if I never get a paycheck for it. I'll write because it's my release - it's what I have to do. It's what I was made to do. That's what really makes me a writer.



  1. Great post! I know it felt weird the day I listed "Author" as my occupation on FB! But guess what--if we write books, that's what we ARE! You'll get to where you start feeling it--name it and claim it, girl! Grin.

  2. I'm exciting to watch your writing career take off!!! :) You writer, you!

  3. I feel your fear :). I've had a few things published, and I still hesitate to say that I'm a 'writer'--because everyone thinks writers just write books, right? And I'm a big chicken about submitting things because I hate rejection. I'm so proud of you for jumping in and submitting things--that's half the battle to self-acceptance-as-a-writer!

  4. Amanda, if we're writing, then we're writers.

    My thoughts are with you in the waiting ... it's excruciating and tantalizing at the same time, isn't it?

  5. I affirm you. It's so hard to not feel prideful, but we need to call ourselves in truth. WE ARE WRITERS! God knows our names. He knows our dreams and the desires of our hearts. Our words may affirm others in their faith walks. We never know what He will use us and our words for in the Kingdom. Proud of you! Love you!

  6. Great post! I feel the exact same way...when I do say I'm a writer, I always feel I should qualify it somehow...

  7. Yes! Exactly this! I totally feel the same way as you do about writing because you have to write. For me, the words have to have a place to go, even if no one reads them.

  8. Your blog is a really great place to start and to hone your craft. Keep it up!

  9. I always kind of hang my head a mumble when I tell people what I want to do. I'm never sure what to say and I'm afraid of what their reactions will be. You know the skeptical, "Oh really?" to the Oh wow, that's so awesome!" because they don't know how much hard work and overcoming self-doubt being successful is. Or how nervous I get every time I hit publish because I've just sent a piece of my heart out there to be ravished by wolves.


I would love to hear your thoughts!