Wednesday, January 25, 2012

When Following God's Will Leaves You Weary

As you read this, I may be in class for four hours of lectures, starting with an 8:00 a.m. pathology class.  Maybe class is over and I'm at work, doing paperwork and training new members at the fitness center I manage.  I might be in clinic, seeing patients (and hoping I look like I halfway know what I'm doing).  Or maybe my really long day is over and I'm at home, trying to play catch-up with a never ending pile of laundry or studying for school.  Wherever I am, I can promise you I'm already tired.

Sometimes following God's will leaves you weary.  I love studying to be a dental hygienist, and I'm amazingly blessed to have this opportunity.  I covered the decision in prayer before I ever enrolled for my first class.  I prayed for months for God's direction.  I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that this is exactly where God wants me.  Honestly, though, I'm glad I didn't know what I was getting myself into, because I would never have applied if I did.  People told me that this program was like the nursing program.  I laughed and said there was no way it's that hard.  For the record...yeah, I was wrong. 
I loved my Christmas break.  I got enough sleep every night.  My house stayed cleaner.  My laundry was caught up.  I read several great mysteries, just for fun.  I got projects done that had been on my to-do list forever.  I spent time with my husband and kids.  I was happy and much less stressed. 

But as soon as school started - the struggles did too.  It's a constant struggle.  I struggle with housekeeping (and usually lose).  I struggle to find time to work out and to run.  I don't see my family enough.  I cry a lot.  I work on way too little sleep (I average 4 to 6 hours a night).  I have a shorter temper.  Dental hygiene school is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  It's putting stress on me and everyone around me.  I am making it through this only with God's strength and grace. Every. Single. Day.

I know that following your dreams and following God's will aren't always easy.  If this was an easy road, everyone would take it.  I'm trusting in the fact that God knows His plans for me and my family, and they're good plans.  He's called me to walk this road, and I know He'll give me the strength to finish it.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you.
    I am in a one step at a time, "don't make me list out everything that I am involved in or I will start to freak out," stage of my life too.

    And I totally relate, because as much as I pray, I don't feel the release to let go of any of the things that I am carrying....

    So I just give them all to Him... all the time... and TRUST.


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