Five Minute Friday: Jump

I'm not brave. Honestly, I'm a chicken. A scaredy-cat. Whatever names you want to throw out there. I blogged for a long time before I told close friends and family, because I would rather hear from strangers that I stink than from those close to me. I changed my mind a hundred times before I finally took the plunge and went back to school. I like the "run and hide" approach better than the "rush in and face it" approach.

But God is slowly changing all that. One of my favorite quotes is, "Great women aren't made in comfort zones." Over the past few years, I've learned that God doesn't like comfort zones, and He has a way of forcing us out of them. In order to go where God had called me, I've had to learn to face my fears and jump in head first, even when I'm shaking in my boots - which is pretty often. He's always there, holding my hand as I jump and leading me in my leaps of faith. He is faithful, even when I'm scared. Especially when I'm scared. I just have to jump.

The Giver of Dreams

I talk to God a lot about my dreams, especially when the road to them gets rocky.  I'm just weeks away from graduating with an associate of science degree in dental hygiene.  By the end of summer, I will be a registered dental hygienist.  It's the culmination of a dream, but this has been, without a doubt, the hardest two years of my life.  It has never been an easy road.

I asked God why a few months back.  Why has this road been so hard?  Why has it been such a struggle when I felt so strongly that this was the right path?  God's answer, then and every time since that I've asked that question, is the same: "Do you trust Me?"

Sunday night, we had one of our conversations as I fought off another panic attack brought on by school...
Me: "I'm so scared, God.  I have to pass this semester."
God: "I've got this."
Me: "We've invested so much in this, and I'm almost out of time."
God: "Have I ever failed you?"
Me: "No.  You've never failed me."
God: "Even when it came down to the wire?"
Me: "No, not even then."
God: "And I won't start now.  Do you trust me?"

Going back to college in my 30's has been a long, hard lesson in fully trusting God, and I'm sure this isn't the end.  I'm getting ready to move into new dreams, and I know chasing my writing dreams  will bring its own set of struggles.  Recently, I asked God to confirm some things about my future in writing - and He did, loud and clear.  I'm ready, because I know that God will be there to lead me through it.  He gave me these dreams, so He's going to be with me every step of the way.  I just have to trust Him.

An Exciting New Launch!

I'm so excited!  Today marks the offical launch day for How They Blog, and I'm so happy to be part of the launch team.

I knew NOTHING when I started blogging several years ago.  I've learned a lot over the years, but there is so much more that I'm still clueless on!  How They Blog will give a sneak peak into the world of some of the best bloggers around.  They will share tips and tricks, favorite tools, and so much more to help me and you become better bloggers.

I've been stalking following Kat for several years at her blog Inspired to Action, where she shares great practical advice that every mom can use.  I've also been an accountability captain for several Hello Mornings challenges.  Kat launched Hello Mornings to provide encouragment and accountability as women strive to start their days by spending time with God.  The challenge has grown to thousands of participants, with groups across the world meeting via Twitter or Facebook.  I know she's going to do just as great with her new project as she does with her current ones.  Hop over to the new blog today and check it out!

Five Minute Friday: Here

It's overwhelming sometimes - the here and now. I'm drowning in my lists - to do, should do, need to do (but can't do because there's no time). The stress piles up, the pace becomes even more frantic, and the never-ending circle of chaos just spins faster around me.

In these moments, I want to shut myself off. I want to daydream and lose myself somewhere else, anywhere else, outside of this mind-numbing busyness. Sometimes all I want to do is let my mind run away and escape and give up, because no one told it would be this hard.

But I'm not somewhere else. I'm here. This is my reality, my calling, my life that God has painstakingly laid out the pieces of, one by one. When it's good, He's here, and when it's bad, He's still here. Here and now is right where I need to be, too.

Coming Into The Home Stretch

Graduation is approaching so fast it's scary.  Honestly, I can't even think about it, because I'll end up feeling completely overwhelmed by everything I have to accomplish to graduate as planned.  I'm trying to work in a little time to relax, and this weekend was a perfect example.

 

 

I have a quote on Pinterest that says, "There's something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a man."  That's so true.  There is nothing so relaxing, so soothing, so stress relieving, as spending time with horses.  I had a great time grooming, grazing and riding with a friend. 

 

I love horses, and I've been riding for twenty years, but with the craziness of life, it has been pretty limited the past several years.  In fact, this weekend marked the first time in four years I've been on a horse.  But the love never goes away.  Hanging out with Reba, Scout, and the sixteen other horses at my friend's place was amazing.  After all, you can take the girl out of the country...but you can't take the country out of the girl. 



 

 

Broken

We are all so easily broken. We are fragile. We are weak. We are shattered. We are sinners. We are failures. We slip and fall so easily. We walk away from God. We turn our backs on grace. We cling tightly to the very things that hold us back and weigh us down. We are all a mess. God wants us - all of us - but all we have to offer Him is brokenness. It's such an imperfect gift to offer a perfect God.

That's why Jesus offered us a broken gift in return - His own broken body, hanging on a cross, paying the penalty we deserved. He allowed Himself to be broken so that we could be made whole. All He asks for is our heart. He doesn't want our heart because its perfect. He wants it because its broken, and He's the only One who can make it whole.

He can take our broken gift and make it beautiful. He can can give us beauty for ashes. He loves us in spite of our brokenness - because of our brokenness - and He waits with open arms to give us the gifts He gave His life for.

When You Want To Lay Down Your Dreams

Some days, I just want to quit. Give up, lay down my dreams, and walk away. It's too hard. It's too much. I'm not even sure I want this anymore. I'm shattered and exhausted and I just want the struggle to be over. I'm weary to the bone. If I had known chasing my dreams would leave me so worn and sometimes even heartbroken, I don't think I would have started.

But I did start, with a leap of faith.  I had high hopes, a little bit of confidence, and a whole lot of fear. I set out on this path of crazy dreams because I knew, deep down in my soul, that this was what God wanted. He opened too many doors for this to be the wrong way. He worked too many details out for this be coincidence. He answered too many prayers for this to be anything but his will.

It wasn't long before the battles started, though, and doubt started creeping in. This was not an easy road. The harder things got, the more my confidence slipped. If this was what He wanted, then why was it so hard? Shouldn't it be easier to follow His plan? Shouldn't He pave the way and make things easier for me here?

As I wondered if I made a mistake, God gently reminded me that His will is never followed without a fight. Abraham hoped in God until it looked like all hope was lost - then God came through and fulfilled His promises. Noah was mocked and scorned as he spent years following God while no one else understood. David ran from Saul and faced many attempts on his life before he became king. Following God's plan left them shattered and broken - but that just made their stories all the more amazing. We look up to them as heroes, not just because they followed God, but because they followed Him when it was hard. They followed Him when they didn't understand. They followed Him when they doubted.  They followed Him when they were scared to death.

I don't understand why this road had been so much harder than I imagined. I've cried so many tears. I've faced times when all hope seemed to fade away. I've failed more times than I can count. I've come to the end of my strength and realized that God is my only hope of seeing this through, so I cling to Him with all that I have left.

Maybe that's the point - when we're ready to quit, ready to lay down our dreams and walk away, God stands by, ready to pick them up and carry them for us. He stands ready to show us that our dreams will only be accomplished through Him. He is our strength. He is our hope. He is the One who gave us our dreams in the first place, and He is the One who will carry us through to the finish line.